Jugding a Book by Its Cover

Isn't it unbeleivable how you can look at something or read something and assume a meaning for it yet then you come to realize that it means something completely different. This really dawned on me today, I was going about today like any other day and all it took was for me to read something so simple, that paragraph had the power to take me to a place I have not been in awhile, a long while. That place was full of memories and happy thoughts, I felt uplifted and happy. Thats when it dawned on me that they are only memories, those feelings are attached to something that no longer exists, does that mean that those feelings can no longer exist? This thought can't be ignored, which is unfortunate because it makes the happiness fade behind the new feelings of sadness - that all of those memories may be lost.

The Story of Five Balls

Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls - family, health, friends, integrity - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life.

Waking up my senses!

Well, like most of you life has also been keeping me busy - work, activities of daily living, social life, eat, sleep, and so on. I like to think I have a strong hold on everything that is going on, but today I think I finally woke and up and realized that that is not true. In the midst of everything that is going on I think I forgot to breath, its like I've been holding my breath and never even realized it. When did it become spring? fuck its almost summer for that matter. I came home after having an awesome day and sat just down, just sat still - doing nothing! Not even reading one of my million books. And that is when I heard the lawn mower outside, and heard the birds chirping, and smelt the fresh cut grass, I looked out the window and saw people walking hand in hand, kids playing, and others walking their dog. It then dawned on me, "hey, it beautiful outside, when did it become spring!". I have been so busy getting my career started, its like everything else stopped. So, I have now decided that today (tonight) I will begin over (in some senses), I have so much more to offer people in my life and people that I haven't even met yet, it time to start living. I'm going to put my past in the past and start a future. Just last night I told a friend I was proud of myself - everything I said I'd ever do, I've done, but now I realize I want to do more, I'll set new goals and accomplish them,and I won't stop there,I'll keep going and going. Right now this very minute I feel smart, friendly, funny, beautiful and creative. Life is more than work and now that I have said it, I'm gonna live it!

24/7

So, as if I am not busy enough with all the things going on in my life, now I have gone and taken on a new task of selling Avon, it even sounded funny to me at first, working two jobs and now this too. But now that I've had a day to digest it all, it doesn't seem like that crazy of an idea. Of course if I actually want to make money doing it I'll have to bust my ass to get clients, but I luckly don't have to focus on the cash (because of the day job). I figure that I work in an office with about 30 other women, I'll just hand the books out to them and hopefully bring in enough sales to cover the cost of my purchases. Beauty products here I come!

Thoughts

So, here I am typing my very first blog! I don't know if anyone even knows about it, but that doesn't really matter to me. I figure this whole blog thing may be useful to me. All of the conversations I would normally just have in my head can now be dumped here, and if no one reads them it doesn't really matter because when they're in my head no one truly responds then either.